Hey, it's Nami.

This week I counted. Diploma. Engineering. ISDM, where my master's in development management ended last month. Hundreds of people passed through. A handful stayed.

Almost every one who stayed is someone I have argued with.

Now rewind to sixteen. I pinned Dr. Kalam's words above my desk.

I built myself on that line. Rise above. Save your energy.

Somewhere it slipped from problems into people. Disagreement started to feel like rain. So I flew over it. I nodded when I meant no. I kept things smooth and called it protecting my peace.

But watch what pleasing really is. It is not talking to a person. It is managing them. You want their comfort, their approval, a quiet room. The conversation has a hidden purpose, so it is not a conversation. The relationship never starts.

That is what the count showed me. The filter had been running for fifteen years and I never noticed. I thought I was protecting my relationships. I was protecting myself from being known.

Most of the people I only pleased are gone. The people who stayed are the ones I could disagree with and sit beside afterwards. Some gentle bonds are real. The ones I managed were not. The first honest disagreement did not break those friendships. It was the first proof they were real. I am talking about rooms where you are safe. Not every room is.

The opposite of pleasing is not aggression. It is honesty.

I am adding one thing to his list.

The argument too.

So count them today. Don't just think about it, count. In India we often recognise these people by the leg pulling. The loving kind. The kind that says, you are safe here. But teasing is only the doorway. Count the ones who can tell you that you are wrong and still call you next week. That number is your circle.

Some real friendships are quiet, and always will be. This isn't about them. It is about the relationships we keep smooth on purpose. And if your count is zero and it stings, that sting is the same one that woke me up last month.

Kalam was right about problems. He never said anything about people.

Nothing grows above the clouds.

I am learning to land.

One question to carry this week:

What conversation am I protecting myself from by calling it peace?

A note.

On Friday I asked what problem keeps showing up in your life, with six numbers to choose from. The first reply arrived.

It said: finding direction.

If that's your number too, the door is still open. Reply anytime.

This is the final edition of Waves of Change.

Thank you for walking through a whole year of it with me.

A new series begins next Monday.

The day has changed too. I'll arrive every Monday at 6:30 a.m., before the week speeds up.

Be kind, help people, trust Muruga.

Nami